so I want to talk about something personal for a second
I lost myself for a little bit.
I gained like 20lbs.
and I’m a current fatass
which is whatever. I just hate looking at myself naked in the mirror before showers.
Anyways…I’m starting to focus a bit more. And I think I can get this shit back under control.
I need to fix myself now. Now now now. okaybye
I just want to lay around in my pajamas aaaaalll day.buticant.
I have to work.
He’s been gone since 4am.
I am not very happy.
me today. a little blurry city here, buuut Tumblr always seems to bring out the worst in me.
I hate liars.
Eat pancakes - check
Write rent check - check (ha)
Make grocery list - check
Drop summer course - check (saaad times)
Contact transfer institution - check
feed the animals - check
Shower - check
Turn in rent check -check
put gas in the car
go to old college - check
print off transcripts - check
inquire about official transcripts - check
turn in transcripts to HR department @CPS - check
eat - check
minimal grocery shopping?? - check
Go to work
Law and Order
Go to sleep
I’m sad today.
It’s our anniversary and he left.
that’s stupid as fuuck
I’m hungry. but I don’t want to eat because I’m a fat ass.
worst feeling ever.
Michelle and I are going to go get ice cream to cheer me up. but the thought of it is kind of making me feel worse. Like, good. I haven’t eaten all day and I’m about to ruin it with ice cream.
I wish I didn’t feel this way. What’s wrong with me?
I hate being miserable, but I can’t remember how to be happy.
today I feel sad.
Idk. I just feel a little depressed, you know?
and yet, I also feel hopeful. Like something good is going to happen.
cross your fingers
Pay $420 to my school (by June)
Pay $150 to The Falls (Friday)
Pay $107 to centurylink (by Wednesday)
Pay $100 to Sprint (Friday)
Pay unknown amount to the electric company(Probably in two weeks)
Pay $420 to my credit card
I have like $100 now, plus like $120 that I get on Wednesday. Plus likeee $350 I’ll get on Friday (maybe)
So if I pay centurylink on time, I will have like $110 left til friday when I will have $460 ish.
Then I’ll have to pay Sprint and the Falls $250 which will leave me with like $210.
Then I should probably pay another bit to my credit card. Idk how much yet. I’ll probably try to wait until my next paycheck is coming up closer.
Sorry. Just needed to sort that out right quick.
I have a test 1.5 hours that I can’t seem to calm down and study for.
Phil is moving a bunch of his stuff over here while I (attempt to) study.
Kids were fighting on the playground today.
I basically told off a coworker who’s like 50 and hurt her feelings.
And I hurt Phil’s feelings today too.
And it’s our 9 month-iversary today.
Ughhhhhh. Moving day is on Friday. I can’t wait to settle down and just breathe in my own air and space. I need this.
I’d like some cheering up, please?