me today. a little blurry city here, buuut Tumblr always seems to bring out the worst in me.
I have a lot on my mind right now.
Mom and Dad are fighting pretty seriously this time. Who knows if it will work out or not. It can’t be good for me either way though. I just don’t know what to think about all that. I’m trying to ignore it.
I’m pretty sure that the movie “There’s Something About Mary” is based on my life. fucking seriously.
And another thing:
I fucking hate Jason for what he said about me yesterday. I am so hurt. So so hurt.
This science shit is going to be the death of me. shiiit. A&P, I hate you already. This particular semester isn’t going to com as easily to me as it usually does. I’m actually going to have to work for those C’s. haha.
I think I’m about to get a second job. I’m really excited about it. I may also get the opportunity to have my own preschool classroom. I haven’t really decided what I’m going to do. Either way, this is opening up an entirely different world for me.
And another thing:
I’m such an emotional eater. I’ve been so worried, concerned, upset, nervous, sad, etc… I just eat all the time.
My face is breaking out..harcore. I have pimples popping up everywhere. sad face.
I’m so broke right now. I hate that my car is fucked up. I hate even more that I can’t do anything about it for awhile. Sooo so broke.
I don’t know today. I just don’t know.
I’m so emotional. So damn emotional. I hate it. I just want to cry for a really long time. Preferrably in his arms. Just for a really long time and let it out.
I guess I’m ready to move to Florida now. Ready to run away and start over completely. Ready to leave behind all of the people and all of the memories that have hurt me during my lifetime. Ready to run far away and never ever look back. Just try to forget it all. forget everything ever happened. Forget how much he hurt me, how much he lied to me, and forget how used up I am. Ready to make something of myself and be alive again, intead of living in this dead feeling I’ve had for the last few years. I’m tired. and worn out. fed up and sick.
I don’t know how I’m going to get there. I don’t know how long it will take. All I know is that I have to go. I need to go. Whether Phil’s the one or not, I have to go with him. Right now, he is my ticket to freedom. My ticket to a new, better, happier life. Maybe forever, maybe not. All I know is that he’s the right thing, for right now. and right now, I prefer to live in the moment.
I’m so lost and confused. I wish. I wish. I wish.
I don’t even know what i wish. I just do.
It’s so hard for me to study when I have all of this stress and pressure and drama in my life. I’m so sick of it.
I need to do something for myself. SO bad.